I’m laying here in my bed sitting and wondering why the hell am I crying.
I’m so damn upset all the time. for no apparent reason.
I just feel a hole in my stomach and a deep empty feeling in my heart. I tried to surround myself with people that would help me be happy. but that doesn’t work.. because I, myself am not happy. I’m sad. I’m worried all the time. I’m stressed to the point of exhaustion. and I am sick and tired of making up excuses to stay in this dark state of mind I’ve consumed myself in. some moment in time between sobbing and feeling like I wasn’t worth it anymore.. I realized I’m the only person that’s making myself cry. and I’m the only person that’s worth anything to myself. I am a warrior of the heart. and I am trying so badly to be everything fate has blessed me with. I am fearless but knee bucking scared.
but, I am living. and at the end of the day if that’s all I can say is good then that’s going to start being good enough for me. I can no longer be so uncomfortable in my skin. it’s time for me to work on myself and become happy on my own. because I am who I am and that’s not going to change with an 11:11 wish or a shooting star. it’s going to change with myself.
and that’s all I guess.